Brave Man jokes!! o/t

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  TF_Johnny Mac 9 years, 7 months ago.

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  • #31131

    TF_ratneck
    Member

    Brave man jokes….

    How do you turn a fox into an elephant?

    Marry It!

    What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

    A battery has a positive side.

    What are the three fastest means of communication?

    1) Internet

    2) Telephone

    3) Telawoman

    How are fat girls and mopeds alike?

    They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.

    How do you p*ss off a female archaeologist??

    Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it comes from.

    How is a woman like a condom?

    Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your d**k.

    What should you give a woman who has everything?

    A man to show her how to work it.

    Why is the space between a woman’s breasts and her hips called a waist?

    Because you could easily fit another pair of t**s in there.

    How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?

    Put a nipple on it.

    Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?

    Because they don’t have balls to scratch.

    Why did God create woman ?

    To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.

    Why do women fake orgasms ?

    Because they think men care.

    What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?

    Nothing, she’s been told twice already.

    If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have

    you done wrong?

    Made her chain too long

    How many men does it take to open a beer?

    None. It should be opened when she brings it.

    Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

    Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably

    never be able to support you.

    Why do women have smaller feet than men?

    It’s one of those ‘evolutionary things’ that allows them to stand closer

    to the kitchen sink.

    How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

    When she starts a sentence with ‘A man once told me…’

    How do you fix a woman’s watch?

    You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.

    Why do men pass gas more than women?

    Because women can’t shut up long enough to build up the required

    pressure.

    If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the

    front door, who do you let in first?

    The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.

    What’s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

    A woman who won’t do what she’s told

    I married a Miss Right.

    I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by

    90%.

    It’s called a Wedding Cake.

    Why do men die before their wives?

    They want to.

    Women will never be equal to men…

    until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and

    still think they are sexy.

    In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

    Then God created Man and rested.

    Then God created Woman.

    Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

  • #72658

    I found this very funny when I received it on a PM….Not so funny on an open forum where kid’s can see it ~shh

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