Yes…I am referring to you lot of unfit, poorly dressed, ill-informed, lard-laden muppets who call yourselves “sportsfans”…

I’ve been frequenting this site for some months now, and cannot help but notice that the main question when going to a match is generally “where can I get my brekkie?”.

Do you not care about the sport of eating fish? All you seem to be worried about is the necessity to fill your collective fat-guts with “greasy-spoon”.

So; My learned colleagues and myself have formed a “collective” to keep you idle, overstodged sorts bang up to date on what you should be eating and how much exercise you should really be taking. From now on, any mention of “brekkies, fry-ups and McDonalds” will be met with both derision and disgust. We will also endeavour to teach you the finer arts of keeping the “body-beautiful”. How else can you proudly represent our country at World level and look good doing it?