Xmas joke

This topic has 17 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 15 years, 5 months ago by TF_MARKHLDAS.

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- 18/12/2010 at 11:58 am #43615
  TF_Johnny Mac
  What did Santa the Rapper say when he came down the chimney and saw your Mum, Sister and Girlfriend in the room?……
  
  HO HO HO 🙂
- 18/12/2010 at 12:12 pm #125869
  TF_dirkdiggler
  @Johnny Mac wrote:
  
  What did Santa the Rapper say when he came down the chimney and saw your Mum, Sister and Girlfriend in the room?……
  
  HO HO HO 🙂
  
  terrible!
  
  why don’t turkeys vote for christmas?
  
  because they’re not 18.
- 18/12/2010 at 2:03 pm #125883
  TF_Cutnut
  Damn this weather, the Co-Op has run out of milk!
  
  Still Doris my 92year old neighbour seems to have some spare judging by the amount stacked outside her door.
- 18/12/2010 at 2:12 pm #125884
  TF_Smed
  Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker.
  It was just After Eight.
  They got off at Quality Street.
  He asked her name.
  
  â€œPoloâ€
- 18/12/2010 at 2:22 pm #125885
  TF_tony csas
  sad johnny very sad…lol
- 18/12/2010 at 8:58 pm #125923
  TF_Tonkin Tommy
  Terrible Johnny!
  
  Hope your well pal, have a good Christmas and I’ll see you in the New year.
- 18/12/2010 at 9:39 pm #125929
  tunnel topper
  saw a road sign today:-
  
  ICE
  SLOW DOWN
  
  didn’t see any ice going fast.~clap ~clap
- 19/12/2010 at 9:03 am #125938
  TF_MICK THE BOOKIE
  Xmas joke?….Maybe not,but it is a classic.
  
  A Jehovas Witness knocked on my door last night,and because it was snowing very hard i asked him in.I sat him down and said “Right..what do you want to talk about?” He said “F*** KNOWS…I`ve never got this far before”. ~shh ~shh ~shh ~think ~think ~think
- 19/12/2010 at 9:22 am #125941
  TF_scarf
  I’ve ordered a brand new Porsche for Christmas and mentioned it on Facebook.
  I said, “I can’t wait for the new 911 to arrive!”
  Next thing I know 4000 Muslims added me as a friend
  
  scarf (looking over shoulder for reaction from budnudd, Kev34 and Corndawg)
- 19/12/2010 at 11:04 pm #126015
  TF_Darlo-toe
  just got the new Jehovas Witness advent calender every door i open tells me to f**k off
- 20/12/2010 at 8:40 am #126022
  TF_Waggler
  I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious in the snow today.
  
  Well I’m assuming she was poor, she only had 86p in her purse.
- 20/12/2010 at 8:41 am #126023
  TF_Waggler
  I suppose the reason Eskimos have so many words for snow, is that otherwise, I spy would be s**t.
- 20/12/2010 at 8:42 am #126024
  TF_Waggler
  I’ve just got in the loft to get some more decorations down, and I found a present from last year for little un. Shame it was a Puppy!
- 20/12/2010 at 8:43 am #126025
  TF_Waggler
  When travelling In extreme weather conditions the government advise you should carry a shovel, flask, wellies, rock salt, hi-viz jacket and a blanket!
  I looked a right k**bhead on the bus!
- 20/12/2010 at 8:44 am #126026
  TF_Waggler
  The wife has just got back from the doctors.. She’s been fed up and tired for some time. Apparently she has got an “iron deficiency”. Well that’s her christmas present sorted…
- 20/12/2010 at 8:45 am #126027
  TF_Waggler
  The Wife has been looking through the window ever it since it started snowing!
  
  Should I let her in yet!
- 20/12/2010 at 10:27 am #126034
  ajb
  Participant
  I got my daughter an i-phone for christmas, she was so happy, “best present ever, dad”. I got my son an i-pad, again couldn’t believe his luck.”Thanks, dad just what I wanted”. I got my wife an i-ron. Divorce proceedings start tomorrow….
- 20/12/2010 at 7:12 pm #126071
  TF_MARKHLDAS
  not a joke but this happened at my local dump on Saturday. Speaking to Lloyd a very big West Indian Englishman and thanking him for coming into work and opening up I asked him how he got in given the rough weather.
  
  “By Taxi man”
  “If me waited any longer for der Bus I’d be a Choc Ice”
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